Most of us start our spiritual journey because at some point the burdens of our pain becomes too much to bear. We look for a way out or a way to move forward in our life. If I live a certain way then we won’t have to deal with it. Being good will make it alright make it go away. The shadow side of ourselves this is the part of ourselves which destroys our relationships, kills our spirit, and keeps us from fulfilling our dreams.
It contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny. It contains those dark aspects that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends, and most important, ourselves. The dark side is hidden deeply within our consciousness, from ourselves and others. There is only one type message we get from this hidden place and that is there is something wrong with me. I’m not okay. I’m not that lovable. I’m not that deserving and I’m not worthy.
Many of us believe these messages. We believe that if we look closely enough at what lies deep down, we will find something we just don’t like. We resist looking long and hard for fear of discovering something that we can’t live with. We fear ourselves. We fear every thought and feeling we have repressed. Many of us are so disconnected from this fear we can only see it by reflection, what we project onto the world, onto our families and friends, and onto strangers. Our fear is so deep that the only way we can deal with it is either to hide or deny it. We become so good at this we actually forget that we are wearing masks to hide this side of ourselves. We believe we are the person we see in the mirror. So after years of failed relationships, careers, diets and dreams, we continue to suppress these disturbing internal messages. We tell ourselves that we will be okay and that things will get better.
Instead of trying to suppress our shadows, we need to own and embrace the very things we are most afraid of facing. By acknowledge that quality that belongs to you. It is the shadow that holds the clues, our shadows hold the essence of who we are. They hold our most treasured gifts. By facing these aspects of ourselves, we become free to experience the good and the bad, the dark and the light. It is by embracing all of who we are that we earn the freedom to choose what we do in this world. As long as we keep hiding, and projecting what is inside us, we have no freedom to be and no freedom to choose. However it is only when we discover that by embracing our worst fears, we can step into and be our greatest self.
Our shadows exist to teach us, guide us. They are for us to expose and explore. The feelings that we have suppressed are desperate to be integrated into ourselves. They are only harmful when they are repressed, because they can pop up at the worst times. Their sneak in and cause effect in the areas of your life that mean the most. Like your relationships, your jobs, your children, maybe drinking too much, eating too much, even hating too much. Jealousy and envy are a aspect of your shadow self, when you are happy with who you are, who your with, what you do, you have no time to worry about what others are doing.
Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to live in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.
I have only touched on this subject, you can find books that will help you understand and deal with your shadow self.
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